Thursday, May 14, 2009

Victory and Defeat

There are times in life that you get to declare victory and when you do, I find it best to immediately celebrate them.

Yesterday was a great day. I'm finally starting to simmer down on the work front and settle into a groove. A little bit anyway. I'm still most upset about having to give up Diet Dr. Pepper.. I've almost resolved to start smuggling them in- but have been forewarned that anything but a Pepsi product puts you in the same category as a crack head.. so I guess I have a decision to make.. crack head and be a happier camper with a Diet Dr. Pepper.. or brand loyalty?

Moving on, I go to pick up Cole and "Cortey" (as Cole calls her) informed me that Cole finally poo'd in the potty. (Please note this will be my LAST poo post).

I proudly cheered Cole on and told him how proud I was of him and "woo hoo'" let's go buy a new choo choo and the super duper train track I'd promised (shamefully) if he would just poo in the potty. We were off to Target. I applauded him all the way to the store. We got there and Cole took off running through the aisles " I went poo poo in the potty!!!" he chanted as he ran through the store and just this once I allowed him to be the crazy kid with no manners. I had promised after all. I was running to keep up, but it was awesome to celebrate this victory with my little man. We made it to the Thomas the Train aisle and picked out a new choo choo and I picked up the super duper track I'd shown him the pictures of online. Cole even proclaimed to the checkout girl that "I get to buy new train because I went POO POO in the potty..." as he handed her salty the choo choo.

We made it home and he wouldn't hear of dinner until I'd assembled the new track which I was sure I needed a degree in engineering to do, but I figured it out and Cole was one happy camper. It even got me a "I juve you Mommy" and that still melts my heart. We finished dinner and playtime and then it's usually bath time and bedtime. Cole usually gets to enjoy a lavender bath kicked back in the over sized tub in my bathroom where from the bathtub he can see the TV in my bedroom. I usually put the then favorite movie on for him. So he's enjoying his bath/ play/ movie time, and I putting fresh sheets on my bed (before you report me to CPS my bed is 5 ft from the bathtub in the master bath and I can see him while I'm completing the chore).. I finish up and go to give Cole the final scrub down before he gets out of the bath... it was then that I noticed it... A floater in the bathtub.

Hence the title of this blog. We had a victory in potty training today.. but I think a floater in the bathtub definitely equals defeat. Such is parenthood. High and lows. Nastiness and sweetness.. " I juve you Mommys" and floaters.

Well, I've enjoyed my lunch in the courtyard. Listened to the waterfall. Typed this blog, and I drank my required Pepsi product. Time to wander back to my desk and get back to it. Holla!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Well Okay

So Saturday morning I'm enjoying a peaceful morning at home before Cole and I head to my brother's for Mother's Day festivities...The decision was to celebrate on Saturday rather than Sunday because of work schedules. There seem to be very few mornings Cole and I get a quiet morning at home. I especially love that my child slept until 9am, as did I, and if you know me- you know that sleep does wonders for my mood.. So when I realized I'd gotten a full 9 hours of sleep I nearly danced the jig.

I made coffee, let Joey out, and started making sir Cole's breakfast. I started thinking about Mother's Day and the weekend and stuff. I was determined not to let the weekend bring me down. You see, Sunday would have been my 7 year anniversary. While it's really crazy that I still recognize this.. it's a reminder for me that I couldn't make it work and a little bit of sadness. It's also fairly tough being a mom on your own, realizing that your kiddo is 2 and it's Mother's Day and well you know what I mean.

So I reflected. Allowed myself a moment to feel what I was feeling. I remembered last Mother's Day and my family gathered around me at my dining room table having lunch. Chris and Rachel were recently engaged and we were talking about their wedding and the plans.. and I was so happy for them. Meanwhile, I was in the middle of a divorce and there was sadness and me trying not cry. But even with all of that Mom and Dad gave me the greatest gift. A rose bush. My Dad came armed with a shovel and planted it for me. This little rose bush. I went outside Saturday to take a picture of it for this post because it has had the most beautiful blooms on it and has been amazing this spring.. but with all of the storms we've blooms were on hiatus.

So I thought to myself "well okay" and I continued mentally writing this blog in my head. It has been nice to watch my roses prosper and thrive. As lame as it sounds, my roses are a reminder to me of where I've been and where I'm going. When I move, I'll have to find a way to take them with me. I'm very protective of them and I've never been more upset with my new puppy then when she took to trying to dig up my roses. Bad dog! I had a peaceful Mother's Day and a great time at my big bro's house. He and Rachel have truly made a home and it's great.

There you have it. It's spring and if you find yourself at a cross road in your life.. let me encourage you to plant something. Something that will renew itself every year. It will be an amazing experience next year when you can reflect and acknowledge just how far you've come.

I need to go seek out caffeine. The coffee wore off a while ago. Holla!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I don't know what to call it

When I was four I took my first tap lesson. I thought it was awesome. Shuffle- ball-change. Though a tom boy, I still thought the shoes that made noise when I shuffled my feet were fairly amazing. Next it was more tap. Then jazz. A couple of ballet lessons. A brief stint with soccer and then I discovered baton twirling. It stuck. I was a "twirler" for about four years. Thank God they taught me to juggle the damn things. It's a life skill that paid off.

It has been a crazy few weeks. I left my last job on April 18th. I was glad to leave if I'm honest. My client didn't speak to me my last two weeks. Good thing I was stocked up on the Mommy Juice. I started my new job on April 20th. Flew to Atlanta on the 21st. Flew back to Dallas on the 22nd. Left for Boston on the 23rd. Back in Dallas on the 26th and back in the office on the 27th. All of this while trying to juggle childcare and not lose my mind or worry myself sick. What's a girl to say? Your new boss calls and tells you you are going to Atlanta for training. Next thing you know they've booked your flights.. and I'm thinking CRAP I didn't exactly volunteer being a single mom to a 2yr old in the interview. So I started juggling.

If I'm honest I'm in a little bit of culture shock about my new gig. I knew they needed help and I felt equal to the task... I've just found it slightly crazy that a Fortune 50 company manages their portfolio of nearly 2,000 properties in the way that they do. There's a better way.. I'm just having to pick my jaw up off the floor to figure out why they do it their way. I have to find the PC way to suggest another alternative...if that's even what you call it. So I figure I'll keep my head down. Do it their way for a while, earn some trust, settle in, and then do what I guess I'm being paid to do: make it better. The good news is when I figure it out I'll look like a superstar. Maybe they'll get me some super cool tap shoes. I will say my new clients are awesome. They genuinely want me there. It's a great feeling.

I left my first day from the office crying. All I kept thinking was "what have I done?" Then I reminded myself of the reasons why I left my old job and the fact that the new one is like the wild west.. anything can happen. It's a little exciting. Even though I've had the "what have I done" thought on more the one occasion over the past few's what I know: I prayed about this decision. I prayed that if it was God's will it would happen. Here I am. I'm still going to trust that there's a reason. It may lead to something good or it may be something bad... but generally in life I've started to trust that I usually land on my feet because I can juggle and I can pray.

Holla! I'm a big nerd. The house is clean. I've blogged. Now I have to go find out who got voted off on Idol.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Potty Diaries Weeks 2 & Beyond

It's been a while since my last post.. It's okay if you have a RSS feed and you've missed my random blogs... you can admit it. Or you could be thinking "Thank God Ashley has gone radio silent" I've had a lot to process and I'm not ready to post about all of those thoughts and/or feelings yet so I'll write about my favorite subject: Cole. While I try not to have all of my posts be about Cole and go on and on about him because that's annoying...we're potty training people. It's a big fricken deal.

I have to give Cole kudos. By the end of week two he'd pretty much gotten this peeing in the potty thing down. He was even telling me when he needed to go and if he didn't then I could recognize the sign: Dancing around, grabbing himself, and looking for an escape route. At the end of week two I proudly drove him to Target where we added two new trains to the collection: Duke and Duncan. Good times. I felt like we were on our way.

During week two I gladly rinsed out the nasty training pants because...well, Cole wasn't ready to make the grand deposit if you know what I mean. It's just gross, but I'm his Mom and this is part of the process. But as I'm rinsing the nasty drawers with my rubber gloves on, I'm thinking teaching him to drive will be a cakewalk compared to this. Heck some annoying, possessive little teenage girl might even be welcomed over this chore.

It's week 4 and Cole has yet to poop in the potty. I've tried everything. I've made him feel like it was gross and disgusting... I've bribed him by logging on to the web and showing him all of the Thomas the Train crap I'd buy if he'd just poop in the potty. I've danced. I've sang. I've spent lots of time sitting on the bathroom floor cheering him on and to no avail. Sunday I caved when I knew he needed to go and just put him on the potty, handed him a book and his favorite Thomas the Train paper where we check off each new engine that gets added to the collection and let him sit a while. It works for big boys..why not a 2 year old... and nothing.

I was talking to my Dad last night (aka Papa) and he was telling me that the 4 year old next door still wasn't pooping in the potty. One of my friend's nieces (also 4) will go get a pull up and request that it be put on when she needs to go... REALLY? I'll have a 4 year old that won't take care of business where he should? Grrrr...

There has to be an easier way? Trust me I don't like posting about poo any more than the next person..but what's it going to take? Someone help me please.

I'm dieting.. so I can't even turn to Mommy Juice for comfort...