Thursday, June 18, 2009


About six weeks ago Cole and I happily trotted out to the mail box.. hoping to find the latest Pottery Barn catalog or my newest Real Simple, but instead, all I found were bills and a jury summons.

"Great." I mumbled. "It's bad Mommy?" Cole asked judging the expression on my face more than the words that came from my mouth. "'s not good" I opened it.. and immediately began looking for my out..remembering something about my mother always getting out of it for having small children. It clearly says if you work outside the home and have childcare you can't offer up the excuse.

I happily postponed..then failed to show, but called them and asked to reschedule and finally I was all out of options. Monday was it. Jury duty here I come. Armed with the second book in the Twilight series, comfy but appropriate clothes and my iPhone- I drove myself down to the County Courthouse.

You know the drill. Room of hundreds..everyone stands in line because they think their excuse is better than everyone else's to get out of it.. For two hours this went on. I sat in silence reading my book. Then they started assigning us to cases. I get sent to a courtroom with about 70 others. The process of voir dire began. For hours we sat for the judge to first explain to us how the jury interviewing would take place, and then to be questioned by the DA and the defense attorney. I was on the front row. Perspective juror number 7. All I could think about was getting out of it and as I listened to this room of my "peers" answer questions - I was shocked by some of the responses. I realize I am somewhat of a sheltered, liberal thinker, but the room full of my peers made me glad for my upbringing.

They don't give many details about the evidence or the case. We only knew this: 6 counts of indecency with a child.

When the DA asked if anyone in the room would have issue with handing down judgement, one lady raised her hand and said " I'm a Christian and I believe that we will all be judged one day- I just don't feel that it's my place to do it.. I can't pass judgement on another human being.." I sort of raised one eye brow... having seen this woman spend 10 minutes with the judge in the initial holding room trying to get out of it... I was, if I'm honest, a little skeptical. The DA said "Fair enough" and visibly marked her off the list.

I thought about that woman's statement. For a minute I thought she was totally wrong to say it. Indecency with a child? As a parent or a person, how could you not offer judgement? Then I started thinking about my own own judgement if you will. Why is it that I don't think it's my place to judge on some issues, but on others I have no problem....shouldn't our human ability to "judge" be consistent?

The Defense attorney started doing the questioning at this point. He started picking on me because I'd managed to remain fairly quiet during all of this hoop la. Probably because I will still shocked at this room full of my peers. My rule out question was this: "Ms Peterson could you consider probation for the accused if he was convicted on all six counts?" Maybe it was my answer or maybe it was because I started arguing with the defense counsel about the way he was asking the question, but I was released. I'm glad... I didn't want to hear the particulars of that case, but I could have passed judgement and I can't decide if that's good or bad.

Friday, June 12, 2009

A Song That Haunts Me

One of my favorite things to do when I need to get things accomplished is to put in my head phones, set my iTunes to shuffle and re-discover songs that I might not look for everyday. There is one song, that when it comes on... I sort of stop what I am doing and pause to listen. It haunts me:

iTunes Orignals rocks. Nearly all of my favorite artists have produced an iTunes Originals album where they talk about their motivation for songs.. why they wrote them, their writing process, the ideas, and it seems that most of the time- the creative masterpiece is most difficult for them conjure up. The dedicated song writers, or writers in general treat it like a 9-5 job. They "clock in" if you will and proceed to create.. and sometimes the stars align and greatness is produced. Sometimes they leave their studio with nothing but a load of crap. This always fascinates me. If I'm not experiencing a certain level of peace, or allowed the time to day dream and think- the words escape me. How strange the creative process is for those who are artists? I digress. Basically, when asked about this song, Mr. Gray explained that he was contracted to write the theme song for a movie entitled "This Year's Love" He accepted the job, but had this pressure to write the song with a very specific story in mind. He clocked in and clocked out and This Years Love was written. He found that the process was actually something he enjoyed.. The money from the song actually funded his next album and creative genius got a paycheck. While the movie never actually happened. The song did.. and I'm thankful. Because now it can haunt me on my iPod.

David Gray is probably one of my favorite artists (I have many). Sadly, there were days in the past that I didn't want to go home. Sometimes I would drive around in my car with Cole in the back seat for way to long- letting David Gray console me..allowing me time to think. It is ironic that songs can take on different meanings to you at different stages in your life.

Well...there is work to be done. Have a great weekend. Holla!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Blogging on Hold

I haven't had much to blog about. Probably because I'm doing good to remember where I'm suppose to be and when and not lose my mind. I'm on hold with the help desk for computer issues so I started typing this because I was gently reminded "Remember when you use to blog?"

If you look at all of the big "stress" things in life, I'm told they are: death, divorce, moving and a new job. I've had two of the four in under a year, with a now almost three year old in tow. I'm going to cut myself a little slack.

Here is what I know about myself and change: I get scatter brained. I have a hard time getting anywhere on time... I get a little emotional... so I'm learning to be a little more patient with myself. While extra curricular small groups, and book clubs and the music lessons I want to take are all fun.. they are all on hold until I get my feet underneath me. Perhaps not the best attitude to take in life, but as of late it has felt more like if I have to "handle" one more thing I'll scream.

I wish I could say my new job was all that I hoped it would be. Most days I still leave the office thinking (irrationally) "what have I done?" Ask me about sharing a cube later. I have an amazing pic to give you some idea:

(Please note: I agreed to the above working situation because I was told it was temporary and I felt it was the best way to get up to speed and help the I'm over it)

After some thought, the rational side of my brain reminds me it is change... and change takes time. It has only been 45 days.. hang in there Ashley. Progress is being made every day and I no longer have to deal with the most miserable man of client any longer... or make his copies. So these are all perks. I will most likely get shipped to CBRE offices which will be good and bad. Good because the picture above will no longer be my existence 8+ hours a day and I'll get to meet new people and work at the corporate offices instead of on-site with the client. Bad because the commute will be longer and it will mean more time away from Cole.. and more change.

I have to say I'm getting pretty good at it. Change is inevitable really. It is the only constant in life so I figure if the worst that happens is I get scatter brained, have writers block, and cry occasionally over my work situation I'm doing okay?

Tech support has decided that I've held long enough (20 min) Have to get this wrapped up and get my car dropped off for service. Maybe I'll get a really cool loaner. Holla!