Tuesday, September 22, 2009

On Turning 3

My baby is not as much of a baby any more. As I brace myself for what the third year of life with Cole will mean- I also beat myself up for not taking more video or pictures of him... so I'll blog:

There haven't been much of the terrible twos.. people have warned me that 3 is worse. Time will tell.. so as I think about the end of the second year- I'm amazed that children are absolute sponges. They pay attention to everything and miss nothing. Where I could previously proclaim "crap!" and it wouldn't be repeated.. not so much anymore.

Things I love about my Bubba at this point in life: He still gives me big hugs in front of all of his buddies at school...He says "I juve you mama" and loves to snuggle. He can walk, talk and has this amazing little personality. And so I'll never forget- I'll update the current speech pattern for the world:

  • "mama wht's that?" it's a hybrid of who and what- but he generally wants to know who I'm talking to on the phone
  • "DDD"- translation "DVD".. and most of our viewing pleasure is Thomas the Train. The theme song haunts me in my sleep
  • Nok still means snack
  • "Mama you're happy?" generally occurs when he has displeased me or I am focused on something other than him
  • "Yay Mama!!" every time I go to the bathroom..he feels the need to be present for it first of all and secondly he feels the need to cheer me on
  • "Mama!! Jus tuck me in" translation- Mama just tuck me in. He wants me to put all of the blankets over him and then make a little baby burrito and say "snug as a bug in a rug" as I tuck the blankets under him
  • "CHEEESSEE" he hasn't quite learned how to take a picture
  • "I can do it by myself" translation- get away from me Mama I can do it
  • every type of meat is chicken
  • we're obsessed with peanut butter
  • "pweez leave the door cwack" translation "please leave my bedroom door cracked" suddenly we're afraid of the dark or being alone- I can't decide which
  • "Mama- what we gonna do next?" the child likes to be on the go
  • "Mommy I want to hold you.." (meaning I hold him- but it's super cute)
  • "Jus stay with me" translation Just stay here with me and snuggle or focus on what I'm showing you.
Things that I find particularly annoying about parenting a three (3) year old are faces like this:

To which we immediately get disciplined for not showing his mother respect.

So far if I had to say anything about this age- it would be comparable to parenting a hybrid. A toddler who is trying oh so hard to be a little boy and it's going by much to quickly. It is definitely an adventure. With 3 I never know from day to day if he'll be clinging to me because he thinks I'm the greatest or ever so slightly pushing me away because he wants to be an independent little boy.

Regardless, he remains the best thing to ever happen to me.. I can no longer imagine life without him and while it looks like I may never have any more children of my own... parenting Cole has changed me and my life miracously. In my pre-child life- I didn't really know that I was capable of unconditional love. I think that's why God gives us the ability to be a parent. I'm blessed to have this amazing little boy to raise into what I hope will be a great man. Happy Birthday Cole!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Different Kind of Christian

So I have this friend who has also been through a divorce. There are kids .. and during the drop off the other night- the ex mother in law was watching the kids. She directed the kids to go into the house and came out with her Bible to have a chat. She proceeded to quote scripture about everything my friend had done wrong and how she felt betrayed and so on.

And this woman calls herself a Christian. In her mind, she probably feels that she is a better Christian than you or me and maybe she is. But is this really peace with the Trinity that most Christians long for? Throwing the Bible in someones face and letting them know that you feel their existence is wrong and look we're going to manipulate scripture to paint the picture. Last time I checked- Jesus showed compassion and offered grace.

Sometimes it feels like people use the Bible as a weapon

If we're really Christians is it our place to judge other human beings? I don't think so. We'll all be judged at some point- maybe we should focus a little less on passing judgement on our fellow man and find some peace that there's a higher power that will be our judge and jury. Doesn't the scripture tell us to love one another as He has loved us. Is it really so wrong to get up every day and try to live your life the way you think you should, to pray, to confess, to try to do the right thing, and have your words and actions be reflective of your life as a Christian? When did it become okay to tell someone else how they should manage their walk with Christ?

We all sin. We all get it wrong. We're all just human and hopelessly broken. If you're really a Christian and a disciple in Christ- do you embrace the weary or do you throw your Bible at them and walk away? Why do some people feel entitled to pick and choose who is worthy of God's love?

No wonder so much of the American population is un-churched. It occurs to me, that either her God is different than mine or she's just a different kind of Christian.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Life In the Compound

I affectionately call my new office building- the compound. I've nicknamed it the compound because they make it nearly impossible for you to leave the damn place. It's a ten minute hike to and from my car- which is good and bad. I'm starting to enjoy my strolls into the office now that the mornings are cooling off.

So when it's impossible to leave- it's a good thing there is a cafeteria on site. There is always coffee and fresh produce. I tend to wander down there daily for a piece of fruit, coffee, or a beverage. I have a favorite cashier. I always say "Hi! How are you?" She always gives me two responses : "Some days are harder than others" or " I'm blessed" She's pretty consistent with it. For the past week it has been "Some days are harder than others" and my response is generally hang in there or I hope things get better for you or something encouraging... But the other day as I was getting my pineapple- She smiled and said "I'm blessed" I put down my wallet, looked at her and said "It's about time you shook off what ever was dragging you down?" She and the cashier sitting next to her looked at me like I'd sprouted wings or something... She couldn't believe I was paying attention.. I assured her I was. This morning when I got my coffee she smiled again and said "I'm blessed.." The sad part is I don't even know her name. I'll make sure and ask her next time..but for weeks I've known I would get one of the two responses. I've said little prayers for her as I was walking back to my desk... "Lord please help her with whatever is weighing on her heart" maybe He listened.

Such is life. We all have things weighing on us living in this day and age. Life is simply hard. But I guess my question is : Do we make it harder by putting all of these burdens and expectations on ourselves? I do. I need to get better about saying "I'm blessed" rather than stressing myself out over the small stuff. Because the truth is, perceptive people pay attention. My toddler asks me frequently when he thinks he or something has displeased me " Mama- You're Happy?" This is generally when it hits me that I need to shake it off and focus on all that is right with my life, instead of what isn't.

Have a great day. Holla!