Everything's Broken

Are all of the broken things in my life symbolic of me as a person? Just kidding with this one..you were starting to worry weren't you? Ashley's sad again here comes another blog post of her going on and on about how broken she is.


Actually everything is broken in my life. My faithful Volkswagen is getting old and becoming not so faithful. I was driving down the highway the other day when across my driver's console flashed "STOP!" (with a loud beep of course) "Brake Failure" Service Manual!" Seriously.. all of that while cruising 70 mph down the highway. That'll make you pee your pants. Of course, the service manual wasn't of any help. Luckily one of my gal pals turned me on to a good mechanic who is honest and tells it like it is. I need new breaks and my pads are done..so the brake fluid got low.. and caused the "STOP you crazy idiot" message from my faithful car. That's what I get for not buying a GM product. My Dad worked for Chevy for 40+ years and until I bought my Volkswagen I'd never driven anything BUT a GM product. Every time I call my Dad about something wrong with my car I can almost hear the snicker in his voice. "Ash you've got 95,000 miles on a Volkswagen...Really?" He says...

So my oven is possessed as well. When cooking anything, depending on my oven's mood, F1 or F2 flashes and it makes this horrible beeping noise. I sometimes get convinced that machines develop a mind of their own..Like my oven is secretly screaming at me.."you want to bake something well F U 1" or "oh, you think you want to broil something well F u 2" Truly the oven is telling me it's okay not to cook. So I called the GE service man and he advised me that my oven is just older than dirt and they don't even make the control panel for it anymore... so it'll cost you $800 for a new oven and have a nice day... Awesome.

That leads me to my roof..(though not currently leaking) got trashed in all the hail storms last spring. The insurance man has been to look at it, cut me a check for my depreciated roof and left me to get bids for a new roof. Why do roofing guys give me the creeps? It's like they all but say they are going to commit insurance fraud with all of their "we'll absorb your deductible" mambo jumbo. Do I look that stupid? Maybe I do, I don't know..but it just puts me in a foul mood to talk to one so I guess I'll wait for it to start actually leaking.

Lets move on to my fence that's falling down... I just need to the wind to blow really hard and I'm sure it'll blow away too. Nice!

Thankfully, my Dad was able to replace the several bricks that had to be removed from the back of my house when Marketing Boy & I tried to fix the water hose hookey up thingy and broke the pipe off in the wall. So that one only set me back a small fortune in after hours plumbing costs...but I totally saved on hiring someone for the masonry work!!

I also have a peculiar wet spot in the middle of my back yard..like a pipe burst underground or something and there's a crazy mud pool in the middle of the yard..not near the house or anything. I'm sure a small moat is inevitable.

For the grand finale-my laptop . The piece of crap. I boot up this morning only to get this long "beeeeeepppp" and another stupid blue screen. Luckily a different blue screen than the "blue screen of death" I got when my last laptop crashed. I've backed up all my work.. so lightening can go ahead and strike- let's just hope said lightening strike takes out ALL of the re-imaged laptops in my office. Good grief. Somebody get me a Mac already.

So with all of these broken things in my life.. I really am broke myself. Broke in the financial sense. It's going to be a long, cold, lonely winter with no money for shopping...which reminds me I have to cut a check for my $178.00 speeding ticket before they haul my broke *ss to jail.

Maybe if fix all of these things..I'll feel fixed too. Thank God for coffee and Mommy Juice.

Habitat

hab⋅i⋅tat/ˈhæbɪˌtæt/ [hab-i-tat] –noun
1.the natural environment of an organism; place that is natural for the life and growth of an organism: a tropical habitat. 2.the place where a person or thing is usually found. Paris is a major habitat of artists. 3.a special environment for living in over an extended period, as an underwater research vessel. .


I often say that if my house isn't together- I'm not together. Hello my name is Ashley and I am a neat freak. I've mellowed greatly since having a two year old- but for the most part I can't stand dishes in the sink, crap everywhere, and I try to keep things tiddy. It totally messes with my world if a bed isn't made or things are amuck. I'll revert to doing a mad dash through an airport before I'll leave my house in disarray. I have issues.. I know...I can't help it. My most efficient helper in my life as a single mom is my housekeeper who I affectionately call "Poppins" who comes in twice a month and on those weeks I'm in a noticeably better mood. I'd give up a lot of things in my budget before I'd give up this luxury...When I'm at home, after Cole is asleep.. I don't sit down on the couch and zone out. I putter. I pick things up...I fold laundry..I wander looking for something to do. I can putter picking things up for hours..it's my thing. When I'm stressed you'll generally find me with bleach and a tooth brush scrubbing something..it's not normal. The day before I had Cole I washed every window on my house and cleaned my air purifier with a q-tip. I have issues.

As I look around, if you looked at my office right now- you wouldn't guess that I'm a neat freak..there are market maps, piles of paper everywhere, a coffee cup, my water mug, a blackberry here, a financial calculator there..it's kind of scary. You might actually wonder by looking at my office if I had a handle on my life... but this isn't my Habitat. This is where I land to do my job..it's not what keeps me centered.


I have a great deal of sweat equity in my house. When I bought it- I was certain that Rainbow Bright had vomited there and then moved on the greener pastures. It was hideous..but the price was right, the floor plan was awesome, and so I bought it. It's been painted floor to ceiling, bathrooms re-done, granite installed,and six years later I finally have it about how I want it. I'll probably sell before Cole goes to school as there are too many memories associated with it, but it's my home and I am a firm believer that in today's world our homes should be our sanctuaries..The place where we can land and relax, get our love cups filled up by the people and animals who reside with us, and gather the strength to go out and do it all again the next day.

I thought about this as I was scrolling through some pictures that I had on my Blackberry and found a picture that I had snapped at a recent Habitat for Humanity http://www.habitat.org/ build that I had the pleasure of being involved with. My church does a great job partnering with this organization and we usually send out a team of folks to work on several Habitat projects per year. I like to work on one right before Thanksgiving as I find that it puts me in the right frame of mind for the Holidays. We were working one of the last weekends on the house- so it was a lot of laying sod, and detail trim painting- but as the family worked with us.. I asked if they were going to be able to be in the house in time for the Holidays. They should have moved in this past weekend. How awesome is it that they will get to spend the Holidays in their new home-one that they helped build. I was moved again as I stumbled onto the picture on my Blackberry this morning trying to find some space for yet another Cole pic.















We all need a soft place to land.