Monday, September 8, 2008


Pronunciation: \ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s\ Function: noun Date: 1824
1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress 2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

I blog today about resilience. It's something that lately I am trying to notice in people. Life is so hard and there are people who say "you know what? today was bad, but tomorrow will be better" and they channel the energy and make things happen. Then there are people who say "you know what? today was awful and tomorrow and the next day will be equally as awful.." until they are sucked down to become this piece of a person..defeated by life. A victim.

I realize I have had somewhat of a charmed life. My parents are still married and I have a good relationship with them. I consider my brother and my sister my friends. I have a great circle of friends, an amazing son and a lot of amazing people in my life. I have a good job that I don't hate and it pays the bills. I haven't had a life overwhelmed with sorrow, loss or uncertainty. I've lost people I cared about. I've tried to be the personal cheerleader for people wallowing in their victim mentality and failed miserably. I've had to work really hard and I don't always make great relationship choices (clearly) but even when I felt like life dealt me a big hand of crap I realize I have two choices:

  1. Get up, learn from it, own my mistake and move on

  2. Sit around being a victim asking "why"

I'm a "get up" kind of girl. I remember hearing ALL the time growing up "Can't never did anything.."

Where do you learn resilience?

Where do you learn to be resilient? I don't really know the answer to this. But I think you learn it by watching people in your life. It's always the people who are positive and say "I love life" that I feel drawn to be around. I think you learn it by spending a lot of time in prayer and trusting in God.

I think you learn to be resilient by picking yourself up a few times and when you feel compelled to ask "why" you already know that it's all part of God's plan and there was a lesson to be learned, a trial to endure or whatever because at the end of the day it has made you stronger, better, and more compassionate. There is always a reason.

I have blogged about Fear and Resilience because, well, I've been intrigued by a new parenting theory that teaches that the qualities we want for our kids are best learned by parents representing those qualities. No, I don't want Cole to have a fear based life.. I want him to know that his Mom had a lot of fears and I tried to face them. I want him to see that I've made mistakes but I've tried to be resilient in life. I want him to see my Faith. My loyalty to the people and things I care about. My compassion for the world. A work ethic. A love of life and a belief that something great is always just around the corner.

I'll worry about him cleaning his room later...



Cathy H said... thoughts...