Monday, May 11, 2009

Well Okay

So Saturday morning I'm enjoying a peaceful morning at home before Cole and I head to my brother's for Mother's Day festivities...The decision was to celebrate on Saturday rather than Sunday because of work schedules. There seem to be very few mornings Cole and I get a quiet morning at home. I especially love that my child slept until 9am, as did I, and if you know me- you know that sleep does wonders for my mood.. So when I realized I'd gotten a full 9 hours of sleep I nearly danced the jig.

I made coffee, let Joey out, and started making sir Cole's breakfast. I started thinking about Mother's Day and the weekend and stuff. I was determined not to let the weekend bring me down. You see, Sunday would have been my 7 year anniversary. While it's really crazy that I still recognize this.. it's a reminder for me that I couldn't make it work and a little bit of sadness. It's also fairly tough being a mom on your own, realizing that your kiddo is 2 and it's Mother's Day and well you know what I mean.

So I reflected. Allowed myself a moment to feel what I was feeling. I remembered last Mother's Day and my family gathered around me at my dining room table having lunch. Chris and Rachel were recently engaged and we were talking about their wedding and the plans.. and I was so happy for them. Meanwhile, I was in the middle of a divorce and there was sadness and me trying not cry. But even with all of that Mom and Dad gave me the greatest gift. A rose bush. My Dad came armed with a shovel and planted it for me. This little rose bush. I went outside Saturday to take a picture of it for this post because it has had the most beautiful blooms on it and has been amazing this spring.. but with all of the storms we've blooms were on hiatus.

So I thought to myself "well okay" and I continued mentally writing this blog in my head. It has been nice to watch my roses prosper and thrive. As lame as it sounds, my roses are a reminder to me of where I've been and where I'm going. When I move, I'll have to find a way to take them with me. I'm very protective of them and I've never been more upset with my new puppy then when she took to trying to dig up my roses. Bad dog! I had a peaceful Mother's Day and a great time at my big bro's house. He and Rachel have truly made a home and it's great.

There you have it. It's spring and if you find yourself at a cross road in your life.. let me encourage you to plant something. Something that will renew itself every year. It will be an amazing experience next year when you can reflect and acknowledge just how far you've come.

I need to go seek out caffeine. The coffee wore off a while ago. Holla!


NancyJ said...

Love it! Great idea to plant something! And the roses have so many applicable implications - thorns, blooms, etc! I especially like the sentence "Allowed myself a moment to feel what I was feeling." I know I say this all the time, but you are such a smart cookie! So few are willing to feel what they're feeling - especially if it's sad or unpleasant! So healthy! Probably all due to the wisdom of making coffee first thing...

Glad you had a good mother's day!