Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Turning Point - Part II

Some of the best relationship advice I've received in my life is some that I received when I least expected it. I was advised that relationships, healthy ones, are much like a three legged stool. Each leg is crucial to the support of the stool or relationship. The legs are fairly simple: Spiritual, Emotional & Physical. If these three components or legs are there, then you have yourself a good foundation and a pretty rockin stool ( I added the rockin part, but the advice was given by my Pastor and friend and he's pretty rockin too) When you realize that your past relationships were balancing on one leg and when you find yourself ready to pursue a relationship again, you start becoming keenly aware of having all three legs. Because, hopefully you've learned, balancing on one leg is exhausting.

In every relationship, I think there's a turning point where you realize, this is someone who really gets me and has potential. I'm not a girl who expects the big gesture of flowers, chocolates, and all of that crap. Because honestly, any schmuck with a wallet can buy some flowers and sweep you off your feet. I wanted real. I wanted a three legged stool. I wanted someone who that I would know when the poo hit the fan, he'd be equal to the task..not someone who would lay down on the couch and expect me to figure it out. Flowers, candy, feet sweeping and such? Not for me.

With Marketing Boy, I remember the day I thought "This guy has potential and he could be my three legged stool" I'd had a pretty crappy day at work. One of those days you feel chewed up and spit out. I was having a financial crisis (the car, the house, the life) and really it was one of those days you say to yourself, if one more thing goes wrong- I'll just scream.

When I picked up the phone, it was Jay on other end. I guess he could tell I'd had a bad day. He said, "Why don't you go home and get Cole to bed and I'll come make you dinner? I'll pick up a movie on the way." Sign me up, I thought. He showed up and made me dinner. While we talked I found out that he was a couple of credits shy of a Masters Degree in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary. I very nearly fell out of my chair. Because I hadn't dubbed him Seminary Boy. He was Marketing Boy. There was a movie (sorry I don't remember the title) and about the time we sat down to watch it the smoke detector started beeping and I thought to myself- there is my one more thing to send me over the edge. Before I could even make a sarcastic comment about it being the icing on the cake of my day, he was scaling Cole's toddler table figuring out how to fix it. Maybe I wasn't destined to figure it out on my own with my broomstick after all?

When he went home that evening, I realized I was hooked. Definitely three legged stool qualities. We've been together every since and he still shows up for me & Cole everyday and in every way.

While I'm still learning that the legs never stay perfectly balanced and sometimes the stool gets a little wobbly I'm also realizing that I've found someone who is willing to help me try.


Anonymous said...

珍惜當下..活在當下..祝大家都平平安安健健康康! ..................................................

NancyJ said...

NICE!! SO glad you found a 3-legged stool! GREAT story!!