The Life List

Shocking I know..but I do have a life list.. A list of things that I'd like to accomplish with my slightly sound mind, somewhat functioning body, & incredible desire to be content when I'm laying on my death bed & know that I put it all out there... To give you a peek at my list (in no particular order):

1. Have a real and lasting partnership
2. Travel to at least twenty countries
3. Read the Bible cover to cover
4. Be comfortable in my own skin
5. Raise Cole to be an amazing man
6. Sit at Cole's college graduation & know I've given him the tools to be successful in life
7. Sky Dive
8. Bungee Jump
9. Take a Hot Air Balloon ride
10. Own a convertible
11. Go on a mission trip to Africa
12. Have a career that is meaningful to me
13. Always have at least five friends who I know I can count on
14. Run a marathon...or maybe just a lot of races..(see further commentary below)
15. Write a book..even if it's never published
16. Become deeply involved in a charity that is meaningful to me
17. Go on a trip alone... and find myself again...at least three times in my life
18. Make sure the people I love---know it...
19. Buy an old house and restore it... (this one is becoming less and less appealing as I struggle to keep my somewhat new house from falling down)
20. Allow myself to fully accept Grace
21. Liposuction (ok I'm kidding about this one...)
22. Own a beach cruiser bicycle (red of course) with a basket and ride around on it..even when I'm 80
23. Own a home with a porch swing
24. Learn to knit (I need something to do when I'm old)
25. Learn to play the guitar...
26. Matter to people
27. Take lots of photography classes
28. Live on the water at some point in my life
29. Make it to the end of my life & be at peace

If someone had read my life list from several years ago it would have included a lot of career type or financial goals. I guess I'm just becoming a slacker in my old age? Or maybe I've just accepted that those are just accomplishments and it's more about the journey and the relationships I form outside of my profession that fulfill me? What really makes us successful anyway? I'm still wrapping my mind around this one.

I am proud to say that with the help of marketing boy I completed my first 5k race on Saturday (see life list # 14) Yes, I ran the whole thing and didn't pass out. I didn't even stop for water or to walk. So I was pretty pleased. I'm waiting for race results to be posted- but I know for a fact that I didn't finish last!

However, Tuesday reality set in for me when I couldn't really walk without pain. I twisted my back some sort of crazy way running over the weekend I think? After the back spasm my goal has become less about running a marathon because I just don't think this body is equipped to do that... so I'll settle for running a lot of races for charity and keep my acupuncturist, chiropractor extraordinaire Dr. Miner on speed dial..

Maybe I'll work up to a 10k eventually, but I'm thinking why in the world do I need to run more than 6 miles at one time? That's what cars are for...so bye bye marathon aspirations. My back hurts!

Random Ramblings on Self Image

Another turkey sandwich on wheat at the desk. I had a rough meeting this morning and another one this afternoon.. so what I really want to do is go eat something comforting with a friend. But I'm focused on losing a few pounds (what else is new?) so I'll eat my little sandwich, save myself some $ and blog. Lucky you.

My meeting was rough because I got my *ss handed to me. Not really for something I failed to do, but rather a failure to foresee how this person would want the information presented to them. Perhaps it's hard to predict this because it constantly changes...the preferred method of delivery of information..who knows. Just give me my butt chewing and send me on my way. Next time I'll consult with the Magic 8 ball before submitting my stuff. I'm a big girl... I can take a butt chewing.. say my "yes sirs" and go on my way. I don't even cry..because that would prove me weak in the business world.

But being a little bitter about eating my turkey sandwich led me to some thoughts about self esteem issues and how most women I know are constantly struggling to conform to an ideal image of what a woman should be. In business she's assertive without being bitchy...At home the house is perfect and she's supportive of her family without being a doormat... In relationships she struggles to express herself without being perceived as overly opinionated or overbearing. It's a constant balancing act. No wonder we need a trough of Ben & Jerry's occasionally.

But we better not overindulge in the Ben & Jerry's because then butts will expand.. and as women it seems we're always struggling to be that "picture" of what beauty is... From a very young age we're shown through media, conversation, perception and experience..that society appreciates the tall, thin, blonde woman with perfect measurements. Trust me... I got sucked in at an early age too.. I'm still sucked in (literally) at 31. My expectations are a little more realistic I think, but none the less... here I am on yet another diet. In reality I will never be 5'10, barely weigh 100 pounds, and not have a physical flaw.

At 13 I came home and told my Mom I wanted to go on a diet...and oh by the way, I needed to get rid of my freckles..freckles aren't pretty. I really wanted to dye my hair too...but Mom drew the line at that. She bought me some products guaranteed to fade freckles, taught me the importance of sunblock and off I went to diet and conform. I didn't need a diet... I just needed another year to grow up instead of out... but I was convinced I was fat? The girls at school told me I was? I certainly didn't look like the chicks on Beverly Hills 90210. I lost 15 pounds... but constantly "watched" what I ate through High School... "watching" it became a little obsessive in College....

Recently, I have appreciated companies like Unilever and their Dove Campaign for Real Beauty http://www.dove.us/#/cfrb/ as well as their efforts to positively impact realistic self esteem for young girls... If you have a moment check out these links :

http://www.dove.us/#/features/videos/default.aspx[cp-documentid=8354359]/
http://www.dove.us/#/features/videos/default.aspx[cp-documentid=8354359]/

Some shocking statistics.. 75% of young girls are unhappy with their physical appearance.. this scares me. I'm glad I have a son. How do you teach a young girl as well as yourself that beauty comes in all shapes, colors and sizes. That the beautiful women on TV and on the cover of the magazine have been nipped, tucked, sucked, airbrushed and photo shop'd until they are really just imaginary women... No wonder women are crazy!! I recently saw The Women with one of my best girl friends and it was a great film.. Annette Benning sums it up:

http://www.dove.us/#/thewomen/videos.aspx/

Now I'm 31.. I'm still worried about crows feet, gravity, laugh lines... stretch marks...baby weight.. AHHH!! It's craziness. Even with all of these worries of aging and time marching on across my body.. I figure this body with red hair and freckles is really just my vehicle for getting through life. After 31 years, I'm getting pretty good at handling my vehicle and learning that maybe I don't need to trade it in for a better model? Somebody get me a cupcake.