Monday, January 4, 2010

The Background

The Background:

To begin the story of Marketing Boy, I guess we need to rewind… To August a long time ago. I was in full hermit mode. It had been six months since Cole's Dad and I had separated… My divorce had been final for a while. I was doing better, but solely focused on Cole… He was getting fairly rotten.

My therapist, my friends, my family were all advising that I needed to get out. That I couldn't’t just lock myself away raising Cole, and ignore the possibility of a functional relationship.

It was another Saturday night, Cole was in bed, and through all the heartbreak, loneliness was kicking in… There was wine involved and I trudged into the office to fill out an eHarmony profile with my girlfriend on the phone with me, guiding me along… Several hours and several glasses of wine later I had a complete profile and more matches then I knew what to do with. I simply turned off the computer and went to bed. It was too much...

When you’re a single Mom, dating is an entirely different level of scary. Instead of will he like me? It becomes will he like my son? If it gets serious, will he love my son like his own? Will he like the fact that I have a little boy TOO much, meaning he’s a creepy pedophile… How will I trust anyone or myself ever again?

My situation also makes dating difficult.. You see, I don’t ship Cole away every other weekend to visit his Dad. He’s with me, all the time and my one rule was certain: I would not date in front of my son.

Thus my dating woes began. And wow, dating had changed in the last eight years while I was with Cole's Dad. I learned some valuable lessons:

  1. Make use of your lunch hour: wear something cute to work, and you’re good to go. You also have a reason to cut the date short
  2. If I guy asks you out for coffee you’re not on the “A” list.. you’re on the “maybe” list
  3. If you merit a weeknight date for drinks only…you’re not on the “A” list
  4. If you merit a weeknight date for dinner…you’re on the “B” list
  5. One friend encouraged me to make use of having a babysitter and being dressed up: stack a couple of first meetings on the same night. Happy hour, then work your way to dinner (Save this trick for first meetings only- I learned the hard way)
  6. The no. 1 thing I learned is that if you “click” on the phone, he gets your crazy sense of humor via email, AND asks you out for not drinks but dinner on a Saturday night…there IS potential and you just might have made your way onto the “A” list.



marketing boy said...

7. If you are a red head, the week gets cleared out and the "list" gets shortened to one.