Monday, January 25, 2010


It's funny how certain words or phrases that first develop when kids are developing their speech stick with you. For example, nok in Cole language meant snack. Sure sure he knows now that snack= nok, but for us the words are interchangeable. Sprouts is our local health food store and we have a tradition. I say we're going to Pouts and Cole knows he's getting a nok. Simply put- he gets to pick one of the bulk candy or chocolate items that the good people of Sprouts have pre-measured and put in uber convenient, environment destroying plastic packaging. The nok is his special sweet treat after dinner if he does a good job on his veggies and eating something somewhat nutritious. I also let him partake of a piece or two of it while we're shopping.

Swaying the Jury
Three year olds love to be en-powered. Ask them their opinion or if they can do something and generally they are equal to the task. I generally let Cole pick which nok he wants...but when reaches for the cinnamon fire candy or the chocolate covered espresso beans- obviously, there is a bit of swaying of the jury that has to happen. Simply put: Encourage my kid to make the "right" choice. Not the stuff that will make him a hyper freak show or cause him to projectile spit a piece of cinnamon candy in the middle of Pouts.

Every time, it's the same scenario and if I really think about it's noks at Pouts but all too soon it will be a whole new level of encouraging and swaying.

So I had a pretty strict disciplinarian in my mother. I received my fair share of spankings..was making my bed by age 5, wasn't allowed to bring home anything but A's & B's on my report card and you could hang it up if she ever caught wind of you misbehaving in school or being disrespectful to an adult. Really my mother just had certain expectations of my brother and I in terms of our behavior. Discipline she was fairly strict about it.. Allowing us to make our own choices? Well she walked a fine line on that one.

My brother and I both had friends, or activities my Mom didn't approve of.. but instead of putting her foot down and proclaiming " You can't be friends with that person..or you can't be in the Flag Corp or in the Jazz Band or get in the car with that crazy kid or whatever" She attempted to sway the jury. She knew just making the decision for us and saying "NO"..would make us want to do it all the more. So sometimes she'd give us just enough rope to hang ourselves.. Then we'd get disappointed by that friend she knew was bad news...or wouldn't be accepted into a certain clique..or didn't make the team. Then she'd be there to help us figure it out.

These life lessons don't really end once your parents have launched you from the house. I'm 32 and just last week I received a concerned email from my Mother. At first my response was "No she didn't.." I had to call my brother and talk it out. But she's just looking out for me and still trying to sway that jury...and encourage me to pick the right nok.


NancyJ said...

I adore your mother! And your brother, for that matter! ...and while we're at're pretty great too!

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