Thursday, March 5, 2009

I didn't give it up

So I didn't give up blogging for lent.. I've just been (as my dad would say) busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest...Butter my butt and call me a biscuit it's been a crazy week and a half.

Lucky for me no one I work with knows I blog.. so I can say this. I've been grilled, interrogated, poked and prodded..otherwise known as a job interview. Several for one particular gig in the last week. To me, job interviews are a lot like sitting in a small room with a light in your eyes with people asking you ridiculous questions. There's always a PC way to answer and as I type this blog I'm wondering: Did I answer correctly? Did I act overly interested? Desperate? Not interested enough? Did I look young and stupid? Was my resume okay? My suit? Did I have something in my teeth even though I checked twenty times before I went in to the interview? The best part of this meeting today: I got to size up the competition. Not exactly the way it should be - but I made the short list. It's me and two other candidates.. and we were all being paraded around in front of the client like a big dog and pony show. My question is this: Was I the dog or the pony? I tried to stare the competition down and look all intimidating.. hopefully it worked.

Here's where I'm at. If you know my story- you know that I started with a great real estate firm right out of college. My real estate professor liked that I showed up to class everyday dressed for work and sort of took me under his wing. I guess he liked that I was having to work my way through. He helped me land my first job. He said "get your foot in the door." Getting your foot in the door with a great company is key.. so I did. I started out making next to nothing and worked my way up. Now there is a brick wall (or very mean man depending on your perspective) and I keep running into the damn thing.

In May, I will celebrate 10 years with my company. It's been a good ten years for the most part..but sadly, I'm learning, in today's world loyalty doesn't always have the great return that we think it should have. I've struggled with this. I like being loyal. I like thinking that if I ride out the bad and lean times that there will be an upside and I've found that it just doesn't work that way in the corporate arena. It certainly doesn't work that way now that the boutique firm I started out with has merged with a larger firm that reports to wall street and investors. It changes the dynamics quite a bit.


When I started this blog.. I was one of three. Now I'm it. An offer letter is forthcoming. They have been calling my references. So we'll see. At this point- I've prayed about it. God will take care of me. I threw a fairly big number at them and if they deliver -I'll go. If they don't then I'll keep plodding on along-doing what I do..waiting for the next opportunity. Regardless, with the time change, and all of the craziness last week I'm feeling fairly drained. Life always seems so uncertain.