Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Signing Off on 2008

Much like my boss signs off on my expense report (which usually includes a cup of Starbucks as breakfast) I am signing off on 2008. In my industry- we're pretty much done with our year by the middle of December and the Holidays are a good time to take a much needed break. I've had to stumble into the office for a little while, but for the most part, I am signing off until the New Year. I'll be spending most of my time frantically getting Christmas presents bought, wrapped and enjoying time at home with Cole & Joey. I'll also spend some much needed time with God reflecting on this crazy year. There are also a stack of books screaming to be read.

I have to say I'm glad that 2008 is soon to be in my rear view mirror. Hopefully, I won't look back. In case you are just now tuning in, I began 2008 knowing I was headed for a divorce and the road this year has been a rocky one. My amazing Dad, who was married before he and my mother married some 37 years ago, told me that my divorce would probably be the hardest thing I ever did. As usual, he was right. While my theme for 2008 might have been Bitter Party of One..2009 will be a much more positive.

So to summarize in 2008. I sad goodbye to Will. I got over bitter. I got mad and totally channeled that energy into some pretty cool home improvements and weight loss. I've navigated the beginning of the terrible 2's, and single working mommy world. Survived another merger/acquisition on the professional front. Completed 14 new retail stores for my client and signed on all of my 2009 deals. I've made some amazing new friends, met a marketing boy, and let some really cool people into mine and Cole's life. I said goodbye to Tobie. I adopted Joey. I saw my big brother get married. I supported friends through their journey. I started running. I started Blogging. I started accepting help from people. I grew as a person and in my Faith. I cried a lot but, all in all I laughed much more.

I started this Blog as an outlet for the random thoughts in my crazy head. It's been therapeutic for me. A very real documentary of my journey. I have to thank all of you who read and comment. Some of them publicly on the blog, but I get many emails of encouragement that are much more private. I've been amazed at the notes I've received from people I've never met who have been where I'm at or are contemplating it and thank me for just putting it out there. I'm not a woman with many secrets. If I have a thought- you'll generally know what I'm thinking so blogging has been really natural for me. I think my favorite notes have been : "no pressure but keep the blog posts coming.."

I brought in 2008 fearful and alone with a case of strep throat, a bottle of champagne, and a lot of Wii ( I think I made the pro level that night in Tennis) Two NyQuil capsules later I woke up to 2008 and in addition to strep throat I had pink eye so my eyes were swollen shut. It took me a couple of days to get them open again, but they have been wide open all year long. I finally saw that I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for. I saw that though I didn't feel worthy of it, God never left me this year. He showed me the way and brought really amazing people into my life who have helped & supported me. The past months & my ex's actions have shown me that I absolutely made the right decision in walking away from my marriage. I felt more alone in that relationship than I have ever felt out of it. I hope he feels less alone too.

So if 2008 was a year of bitterness and fear. I'm vowing to make 2009 a year of Hope and New Beginnings. I am hopeful that Cole will continue to thrive, that I'll find the next step in my career path, and that I'll continue on my meandering soul journey. I'm also hopeful that I'll run a 1/2 marathon, finally take a guitar lesson, channel some of my writing energy into actually starting the book that's in my head, continue to build on the new relationships that have been brought to me this year, travel more, worry less, and be okay with not always being okay.

I have no idea what's in store for me. I only know that Cole and I made it through this year and I feel like my little man and I can make it through anything. We have a pretty amazing supporting cast & now have a new sidekick in Joey to join us on the roller coaster that is our life. I didn't get around to Christmas Cards this year (shocking I know) so I hope this post finds you and yours at Peace and that you have a moment to think about the true meaning of Christmas and to be thankful for all that 2008 showed us and hopeful that 2009 will rock!


NancyJ said...

GREAT summary! I especially love the list in the 3rd paragraph of all the ways you've grown and all your accomplishments! You've inspired me...I'm going to do the same before 2009! An exellent tool to be sure not to miss the positives and progress.

Happy 2009 (and I'm GLAD you're finally realizing you need to give yourself more credit! You're amazing!)