Monday, April 28, 2008

My Own Bee Movie

So the C-Monster and I were strolling thru our new home away from home Lowe's the other day. Quick stop to get some supplies for the latest project. We're as usual pushing the dolly loaded with lawn and garden crapola when all of the sudden this wasp decided to go all "Top Gun" on me and buzz the tower. The tower being my face/head. Note: I HATE WASPS, BEES, and pretty much anything that could sting me and cause a reaction. If you haven't ever had an epinephrine shot- take my word for it... it isn't that grand.

SO when said wasp buzzes the tower again- I freak and do some random "chick" dance in the middle of Lowe's and begin dancing around like like "Get it away from be" then the little freak start buzzing toward Cole and this Mama Bear wasn't going to let that happen so I pick up weapon from dolley which happened to be a flyer about one of our purchases and begin running after the stupid thing. Finally- I think the little terd decided to take it's wasp-ness someplace else. Elated with my victory over the wasp I assume my position to begin pushing dolly.. and realize that the cashiers, Cole and one other customer are looking at me like I've lost my ever lovin mind. I put down my weapon and say " Sorry I HATE Wasps.." they all laugh like "Clearly you freakshow.." Well Cole thinks this is really funny and began re-inacting my entire scene and flailing arms and legs and screaming in a high pitched squeal I'd never heard. He continued to do so while I checked out & when I'd paid... I commenced chasing him and re-inacting the whole thing again.. He thought that was pretty frickin funny. He laughed at me all the way out to the car and I loaded him in his car seat and pointed my old faithful VW to home...

Next thing I hear from Cole after a power drink of his sippy cup is "Ma.." Yes Cole? He squeals and starts throwing his arms, legs and head around and acting like a crazy person.. " Then he starts to laughing again.. farts really big and decides that this is all really funny.."

You know you're a real loser when your almost two year old makes fun of you and can manage to do it while farting simultaneously. Good times.

Weekend with the Folks
Well Cole and I loaded up the car and headed to the parentals this weekend. I needed some TLC and so did Cole.

It amazes me that even at 30- I still feel a great amount of comfort from being with my parents. I'm a Daddy's girl and when he tells me it's going to be okay- I believe him and I know it's finally okay to cry. You can only be strong for so long when your world is crashing down. And when Nana's safely taking care of Cole and you finally feel like you've landed in a temporary safety zone all of the stuff being suppressed or not felt because you can't do it in front of your kiddo just comes pouring out.

My Dad's pearls of wisdom.. "Sometimes Ash the only way out is through.." and I believe him. And then he bought me ice cream and remembered chocolate syrup and even offered up some caramel..

Built in Babysitters
So one of my girlfriend's knew I'd headed home for the weekend and that meant babysitters. My cell phone rang at 9:45pm. I was rolling thru the aisles of Target.. (retail therapy pickings are slim in McKinney at 9:45) Let's go out she proclaims. Out? It's bedtime. Out where? I ask... "Let's go dancing.." is her response. I happened to be rolling by home goods and stopped at a mirror. Good grief. I'm not going anywhere.. My hair was all crazy from my WWC (world wresting with Cole) match just before bed. My eyes were blood shot, and my makeup or what was left of it had run down my face. I shouldn't be in public like this I thought? But Target doesn't count. "Leslie, I shouldn't be allowed in public right now- much less - dancing... Have you met me? I have no dance moves...unless you count the sprinkler head.. "YES!" she proclaims. We haven't seen that one in long time!!

So yes- I had built in babysitters and couldn't muster up the energy to use them for anything other than Target. If only I had a built in stylist to save me from bad hair, makeup and attitude on a Saturday night at Target. I rolled over to the eye-makeup remover, passed on dancing and went home. I think there's still some ice cream waiting for me there... and the safety net that is my parents.