Thursday, February 5, 2009

A Fashion Makeover Please

If you have followed my journey over the last year- you know I've been sort of busy. Busy focusing on alot of emotional garbage, trying to raise my son on my own, and working. Now that the dust has cleared and I have a little clarity- it's become painfully obvious that I've taken care of Cole, the house, the emotions, and my physical self-but I haven't had time to focus on the fact that I've lost all the baby weight & then some and none of my clothes fit and I have dozens of suitable black outfits for a funeral. Literally I am swimming in a sea of black... brown and gray are in there too.

Shopping for me consists of the following: I buy all my clothes from the same 2-3 stores because I know what size I am and I don't have to try anything on. I even shop on line. Shopping with a two year old crawling under the fitting room doors or sticking his finger in my belly button isn't that appealing to me. If it's black I buy it. My friends and people who love me make fun of my wardrobe.. I'm in a rut. I know it. I just haven't had the time or resources to do anything about it and it's been dragging me down lately. I finally feel good about myself and the closet is a sea of depression for me. I walk in and know I'm putting one the same uniform day in and day out. Slacks, heels and a top for work... or jeans, a t-shirt, and converse on the weekend (mama's dressed for speed). All of it's black. *sigh* How did I get here? You know it's bad when you actually put on a skirt for work and the guys you work with notice and even say "Ashley I didn't know you had legs.."

I was putting away my laundry the other night and just started crying looking at my closet. It's as if I feel like a new person- and the clothes represent the old me..the old life where no one really noticed me so it didn't matter what I put on.

I decided to do something about it. Tuesday during lunch was my first adventure... and Wednesday night I went shopping for non mom jeans. Some that actually fit me. I picked Cole up that afternoon and told him that I needed him to go shopping with me... that Mommy was going to do something for her. I just accepted that Cole would crawl under the door and situated myself in a fitting room with no one next me. I made friends with the sales girl and entered the room with about 10 pairs of jeans. She kept throwing jeans over the door.. by the time I left- I'd tried 60 pairs of jeans on. I'd made friends with the entire sales had Cole. I'd never asked so many people in one sitting how my butt looked? I was sweating from trying on all these crazy jeans and never knew that there was so many different pairs of jeans that could make a mom butt look good. I bought two pair. One pair is being hemmed at the store and the others are in the car. I'll seek committee approval when I see the girlfriends this weekend. I think they will be proud...

It's the first step. When I get my bonus in a few weeks-instead of saving every little bit of it- I'll allocate some funds to shop. You're talking to the girl that had Cole's college fund set up when he was still in the womb... so I won't feel guilty about it. I work hard and I should do my part to stimulate the economy right?

I'm tired of looking like a tired Mommy because the truth of it is- I'm freaking exhausted- but in the best possible way. Cole's at such a fun age, I am seeing someone who's really great, I have a decent job that I'll hopefully be able to weather these crappy economic times with, I have amazing friends, a schitzy dog, and all in all life is finally looking up. So I think it's time the clothes reflected it.



NancyJ said...

Wow! Excellent! Some day I may go try to find non-mommy jeans!